Tag Archive: awareness

Drowning – A Poem

I scream; I laugh; I cry about.

I know their hearts are filled with doubt

in fear.


They listen not; they understand not; they compose not.

They fill the time with meaningless snot

in distraction.


Our only hope, our only life, our only love.

Our minds opening to a significant shove

in reality.


The voice we hear; there is a sound.

The silence is not as remote or profound

as imagined.


We break the norm and stand our ground.

We do not need the frivolous found

as created.


But many fall: lost, broken and battered.

Emotionless corpses screaming their chatter

in desperation.


There is only one and until we see

there is no break from you and me,

we drown.


And the water consumes us all…



More to Life – A Poem

They walk and work and never look

beyond the day-to-day reflective book

of each other.


So much and more can be felt

if we study not just the hand of flashcards dealt

to each of us.


For all life ends, short and sweet

feeding our hearts, wanting to beat

right out of our chests.


Sometimes, the memories fade

creating a wish that they had stayed

more clear.


But nothing can keep out the love

because we are so much a part of

one another.


When we know this without a thought,

then, we know that we are not

ever alone.


And the music continues to sing…

A Swinging Pendulum

Every day brings me new opportunities to learn and experiences to create. I make it a priority to choose to apply my days developing my Self in some way, either through physical and mental awareness and/or observing how I respond to certain influences. From time to time, I meet challenges presented to me head on, but may realize in the process that I need to learn to be more considerate of others. Occasionally, I barely even recognize the challenges presented, and may need to learn to be more aware and maybe speak up for myself. In some way, I am continuously experiencing my development of awareness, looking to fine tune one quality or another along the way. What I have observed in my Self is that sometimes in the process of doing so, I enter into a different phase that once in awhile results in imbalance and instability.

For example, sometimes I go through a phase of needing to learn how to say no, as part of learning to set boundaries and take care of myself. This is a problem I have carried with me for years. In business, I can see the benefit to delegation and teamwork, and do so often, but still have a hard time telling someone “no” if I think they are counting on me in anyway. In my personal life, I have an even harder time usually not even recognizing it when it happens. If I do distinguish it, it takes a lot of internal convincing that it’s okay to let someone down or maybe even disappoint someone close to me if it is in the best interest of my own Being.

Every once in awhile when I differentiate this behavior in my Self, my initial reaction is to rebel and just say no to everything that comes my way, to not care about anyone or anything other than practicing and exploring my capability of saying no. When I do this, I feel like a child that has learned how to crawl, discovering the initial realization that I can get from Point A to Point B without any help from anyone else. I want to explore freely and fully and because it’s new, it’s exciting and I feel empowered.

As you can imagine, this tends to make the people around me uncomfortable because it is out of my normal “character”. It does not reflect the false personality and programmed response that they were expecting, and often it creates a shock to their Self sending them into an imbalance that they now have to learn to experience. In a way, I have helped them anyway, just not necessarily on the way they intended.

Intentionally swinging the pendulum too far in one direction or the other is understandable and may benefit you on your journey. The overcompensation for a suppressed or unrealized quality can only serve to bring that quality into balance. By doing so, we are mastering a new skill, and eventually, as we integrate it into our overall identity, it will take its position as part of a balanced Self. The key is to be able to recognize when the pendulum is swinging and to remain patient and observant without judgment until it settles once again in the center.

The Choice of Awareness

Our lives are constantly in motion. This energy creates the constant changes that make up our existence. Every day, I hear questions thrown out at random like “Why is this happening to me,” and “What did I do to deserve this?” As much as some people may not want to take responsibility for their actions, the answer to both questions is “Because of the choices you’ve made.” While the questions are thrown out at random, the constant energy creating the results we deal with is not random. It is not haphazard or cast down upon you. You have created it, and it is a product of your creation.

Every choice made in every given moment creates the reality around you.

Our lives are constantly in motion. In the duration of a split nanosecond, our lives can change immensely. The energy of constant change moves more rapidly than we can consciously understand. Most of the choices we make on a daily basis are done so in a state of reaction, instantaneous and without much thought. Each of these quick, small responses carries the capability of suddenly impacting the world around us. Sometimes these transitions are invisible to the untrained eye. Sometimes, these transitions impact not only you, but all within your sphere of influence. Either way, at your core, at your soul, and with awareness, you can feel your vibration transforming. Now is the time to take control over this possibility. Now is the time to recognize the power of the vibrational shift and play a deliberate role in directing the energetic motion of our daily lives.

Every choice, every action, every formulation, or lack thereof, of intention will shift your vibrational existence.

Our lives are constantly in motion. Every moment in time is filled with infinite opportunities to manifest your will, whether you are consciously aware of it or not. Every moment comes with the choice of awareness. Choosing to not be aware of this key element is choosing to feel lost, out of control, helpless, or maybe even falsely that you are guided by a higher being. Your awareness of the consequences of your thoughts and actions provide you with the power to define your liberation. The choices you make represent your own personal power. How often you choose to be aware of your personal power will determine the amount of instances you find yourself asking, “Why is this happening to me?”

“The Work” – A Poem

Beneath a surface you cannot see lies the Being inside of me.
Hovering near, you wander close.
Inching your way with much remorse
full of your own intention.

Convey to me something substantial, making it “real” and nonfinancial.
Discussing global, we indulge in strife.
For we become identified with the life
time, avoiding the vast abstention.

Breast and bone make one complete, or does that thought simply defeat?
Breaking down, you start to scream.
Your soul birthing from the dream
world, occupied by inattention.

Observe your Self, and you will find the hollowness of your mind.
Recognizing disconnect, you search for centers.
Your only hope, a group of dissenter
guides, engrossed in comprehension.

Soon you awaken to the dark and begin to understand your mark.
Struggling free, you coddle the Essence
Feeling whole, enriching coalescence
merged; you reach the next ascension.

And the next shock awaits you…

Negative Emotions in Relationships

Among people that know me, I am the one most of them turn to for advice and/or motivation.

Recently, one of my co-workers approached me regarding a personal issue she was having with her boyfriend.  While normally I am very open to the story behind the problem, with this particular acquaintance, previous encounters have lead me to believe that no amount of talking, listening, discussing, or debating will have any influence on the action she will choose to take in regards to the problem.  As usual, I listened intently as she relayed her problem and asked questions for clarification purposes.  I observed her becoming more and more agitated as she progressed on with her laundry list of complaints about the man she “loves.”  The more she talked, the more frustrated she became until finally I realized, her increased frustration was not because of the situation with her boyfriend, but because I was not responding to her in the manner she felt was warranted.  She had wanted me to react like the other women, with negative emotion to what she was saying, to jump on the band-wagon, so to speak.  When I didn’t, and she realized I wasn’t going to, she finally stopped talking and asked me what I thought.

I love it when this happens.  I always respond with, “Are you sure you want to know?”  They always say yes.

I said to her, “While I hear what you are telling me about the situation, please understand that I only know your point of view.  Because relationships are always a two-way street, I find it hard to believe that you are the only victim in the relationship.  I’m sure that you feel, as you stated, that he is a ‘fucking idiot’ sometimes.  However, you have chosen to remain in the relationship with this ‘fucking idiot.’  Being in a relationship requires you to accept your significant other, even when they do something you would consider completely stupid.”

She was not happy with my calm, rational response.  I continued…

“It has been my observation that you have complained frequently about your boyfriend in the past several weeks.  I wonder if you are aware of the negative energy you radiate when you discuss the situation.  I can’t imagine that when you began this relationship, you felt the same way you do now about him, but in a healthy relationship, your love is suppose to grow stronger, not weaker, as it progresses.  I don’t think this is the case for you.  If you cannot handle the responsibility of the relationship, and you are completely negative about the dynamic that has been created, then you would have to ask yourself if the relationship is worth it any longer.”

She stared at me like I was speaking in a different language.  The shock that I delivered to her emotional center paralyzed her thought process.  Just as I began to continue, knowing that I would have no impact on her, another co-worker approached us and said, “Did you say he (insert any stereo-typical complaint a wife might have about her husband here)”?  She turned her attention towards the new listener, and off they went in a flurry of complaints about the men they “adore.”  I had realized before I initially responded to her that anything I had to say would all fall on deaf ears.  She had no interest in listening to anything other than someone agreeing with her perspective of the situation.  Her ego blamed, complained, and tried to make others wrong in order to create a stronger sense of self. Ultimately, it is the ego that controls how most people view themselves and the world around them. Why is this?

Every one of us carries a build-up of negative sludge attached to us, gathered from negative past experiences.  When we encounter a situation that vibrates with the same painful emotion that resides within us, we respond with a negative expression of that emotion.  It is this identification that causes the recurring pain within the individual.  A man that had been neglected or abandoned by his mother at an early age will continue to have problems with the women he engages in relationships because that negative emotional response will trigger his energy to vibrate whenever he begins to get close to a woman.  A woman that had been physically or sexually abused by her father at a young age will continue to have problems with the men she engages in relationships because that negative emotional response will trigger her energy to vibrate whenever she begins to get close to a man.  Because the vibration is linked to the negative emotional response, the people that these two individuals will find themselves “attracted to” will be of the same nature that the mother or father was.  This vibration due to a negative emotional response will be misinterpreted as falling in love.  Unfortunately, it will continue on in this manner until that person recognizes the truth about what they are experiencing, understands where the pain is coming from, and can prevent the pain from renewing and re-energizing itself through them.

As Eckhart Tolle suggests, evolution is a breaking of old patterns within oneself and emerging with a new dimension of consciousness.  In the scenarios previously mentioned, these individuals must stop playing the unconscious role of the painful sludge.  Once they become aware of the negative state, they have succeeded in awakening within the moment.  Then, they can address the pain directly.  This will diminish the power it has on the individual and allow them to think more clearly about the emotion they are experiencing.  The energy they vibrate will take on a different frequency and in the future, help them to attract a different type of mate than they had in the past.  This is a step towards awareness.

For those already in a relationship, this can be even more difficult.  They have already established certain pains that feed each other’s negative emotions.  It may even be what attracted the two of them together.  Once one person begins to awaken to this pain and reduce the energy around it, it can create instability within the relationship.  “I feel like I don’t even know who he is any more,” or “She’s not the woman I fell in love with.”  In some cases, it may feel like the other person is pulling away from the relationship.  To a woman that is used to the argument every night when she comes home, the lack of the argument can be misinterpreted as him not caring any longer.  Or, “She didn’t yell at me when I left my socks on the floor this time.”  “He didn’t complain when I maxed out the credit card last week.”  Now, they begin feeling insecure because the other person they have come to know and love isn’t acting like “themselves.”  Some people will try to pull away emotionally as a response and begin looking towards other people that can feed their negative emotions.  Others will try to anger their significant other in an attempt to trigger the negative response that show just how much they care.  These are all more examples of how toxic negative emotions can be in a relationship.  Over an extended period of time, the accumulation of emotional sludge between them will create a tenacious co-dependency.  So, how do we overcome this?

If you, after increasing your sense of awareness of yourself and the individual you are in the relationship with, decide that it’s still worth going home to, then I would suggest you involve them in your evolutionary discovery and process.  Not all will be open to your awareness.  Some will become insecure, feel insignificant, and turn away from you.  If this is the case, you have to question the validity of the relationship in the first place.  Then, you can make an informed decision about whether this relationship is worth the continued effort and go with whatever that answer may be.

If you are in a relationship that your partner is open to the evolutionary process, then utilize it in all areas of your awakening.  Make a pact with your partner that each of you will let the other know whenever something is said or done to trigger a negative emotional response at the moment it occurs.  This requires you to observe yourself specifically when triggered by a negative emotion.  In doing so, you will both be given the opportunity to awaken fully to the moment and emotions at hand, and it will reduce the negative emotion between you.  Your combined frequencies will shift and the negative response will reduce creating less long-term, negative effects that contribute to the continued build up of sludge.  The residual effect on the relationship will only enhance and open the level of communication between you.  Each time that the announcement takes place of a negative emotion being triggered, the energy surrounding that emotional response will be lessened.  The arguments will lessen, not because one or both of you care less, but because the negative triggers will carry less power over your emotions.  As you both become more awakened, the need for the announcement will decrease and the instances of negative emotional responses will be limited to addressing the behavior or situation specifically.  In time, the expression of the negative emotional response will be nearly, ideally completely, eliminated.

This is evolution within two of your most intimate relationships, your relationship with your significant other and your relationship with yourself.  The co-worker mentioned at the beginning of this article will continue to fail in her relationships with others because her focus is on feeding the negative emotion that the two of them create rather than on the idea that it doesn’t have to be negative at all in order to be passionate and fulfilling.

Everything You Do Creates Change

Everything you do creates change.

The theory of cause and effect is the notion that allows us to transform everything about ourselves and influence the world around us, enabling us to become more of what we desire and expect. Our intentions, regardless of whether they are positive or negative, surge forever perceptible in the form of energy. That energy has the power to affect not only the world and individuals that most closely make up our reality, but also billions of others that we may never meet. The impact of our energy can be remarkable, and we must assume personal responsibility for the influences we are establishing for and upon other people. By recognizing the force of our energy, we possess the power to manipulate our reality in the present moment.

As we begin to manipulate the reality around us, we will start to see the shift of our focus narrowing down into creating real change. We will also increase the likelihood that people around us will be tapped into listening with the intent of shifting their truth as well. It is true that not everyone we encounter will awaken with us. We will engage in those conversations with the person standing next to us, and in most circumstances, they will not be able to comprehend what we are saying or that we may be in the process of observing ourselves in a state of awareness. However, it is imperative to man’s continued evolution that we provide those around us with tools they can use to realize their true potential. As Aristotle said, “All causes are beginnings…” We must learn to be “the cause” for others beginnings. Not all will choose to utilize the tools we provide. These individuals will remain ignorant to the state of sleep they rest at, experiencing only an on-going state of discontentment which they are unable to identify the source of. We are not responsible for their choice in awakening. However, the influence we exert is infinite.

Though we are diligent in our Work and our own personal evolution, employing the truth of cause and effect, we will never truly know how our actions and emotions will manifest themselves on the larger universal scale. It is likely that the furthest-reaching effects will fall outside our range of perception. There is not always a one-to-one relationship in cause and effect. It is important to stress that sometimes one cause may have several effects, or several causes may lead to one effect. But, it is only by remembering ourselves and looking to the guidance of our conscience and those more evolved than we are that will assist us in determining whether each and every one of our choices is contributing to our awakening or paving the way to unintended obstacles. As an awakened being that is motivated by a sincere desire to shift the paradigm for ourselves, and possibly those around us, we will be naturally drawn to those choices that assist in expressing our commitment to the universal awakening, regardless of how many others choose to follow us down this path.

Nothing you do, however seemingly inconsequential or mundane, is ever exempt from the rules of cause and effect. This leads me into the importance of personal responsibility. As stated by Chuck Gallozzi, “personal responsibility is nothing other than the freedom to create our own lives.” I recently conducted my own personal experiment with the individuals I work with, most of them being women. For many years, it’s been apparent to me that when dealing with women, in order to get them to listen to a suggestion, you must first get them to relate to the topic by establishing an emotional response. Whenever a change needs to be made, and our team is in “brain-storming” mode, in order for me to get the desired response from them, I always lead my sentences with “I feel like…” This will get them into the “feeling” mode, and it will make them more likely to relate to my feelings. When sitting at the table of managers (mostly men), I have to shift my ideas and present them with “I think that…” or “This is how it is when…” This lets them know that my suggestion isn’t a feminine, emotional response, and allows them to be more open to the idea.

Maybe it’s my feminist nature, but I have always been reluctant to approach the group of women using the “I feel…” method because I find it degrading to the feminist movement. I resorted to doing so in order to have the changes implemented in my favor which was, in itself, a manipulation of the situation for a desired result. However, recently, I’ve shifted my method of approach. I refrained from using the “I feel like…” slant within the team of women and began using “I think…” At first, the impact was nothing short of hostile. The initial body language of the women in the group took on a defensive form and more arguments arose before a final decision was made. Given that my boss is female, she even initially ceased supporting me during the discussions when before we were typically in agreement. After six full weeks of this experiment, it has only recently started to lessen in the effect it initially created. I have even noticed that two of the other women have started to use the “I think” approach when presenting their ideas.

The experiment listed above is a small example of cause and effect and the personal responsibility for creating a desired effect, but it is unknown at this time just how much of an impact this shift is going to have. I wonder if any of the women have started using the “I think…” approach with their husbands? And if any have, I wonder if it is a positive or negative effect? And though the shift is small, sometimes it is the diminutive, subtle changes that can lead to the relief of everyday stresses that weigh us down, allowing us the time and energy to devote to other areas of our lives. It is our own personal responsibility to eliminate the mindsets of “life isn’t fair” or “it’s not my fault I am the way I am,” and take charge of the energy we generate. Otherwise, we will have the same definition of responsibility as that of Ambrose Bierce (1842 ~ 1914): “RESPONSIBILITY, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.” This type of thinking only perpetuates the lulling slumber we should so desperately be trying to awaken from.

Focus your energy to create a desired effect that has the potential to shift the paradigms for all involved.

Everything you do creates change.

1. http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/responsibility.htm

2. From “The Devil’s Dictionary”