Tag Archive: awakening

Our Secret – A Poem


Asleep, as long as

you think you are not.


Forced, as long as

you think you are not.


Empty, as long as

you think you are not.


Distracted, for as long as

the choice is unseen.


Beaten , for as long as

the choice is unseen.


Forgotten, for as long as

the choice is unseen.


Wake, as fast as

you see the opportunity.


Show passion, as fast as

you see the opportunity.


Create, as fast as

you see the opportunity.


For your slumber is deep , but your rest is null.

For your impact is weak, and your legacy is null.

For your purpose is meek, and you sustainability is null…


…without love.





More to Life – A Poem

They walk and work and never look

beyond the day-to-day reflective book

of each other.


So much and more can be felt

if we study not just the hand of flashcards dealt

to each of us.


For all life ends, short and sweet

feeding our hearts, wanting to beat

right out of our chests.


Sometimes, the memories fade

creating a wish that they had stayed

more clear.


But nothing can keep out the love

because we are so much a part of

one another.


When we know this without a thought,

then, we know that we are not

ever alone.


And the music continues to sing…

Do You See?

There it is. Do you see?

I can feel it. It’s heavy, weighted, suppressing.

What is that? Is it our burdens to carry? Or maybe it’s the force field protecting us. From what?

I can feel it. It’s deafening, broken, wretched.

What is that? Is it the shallowness of it all? Or maybe it’s the depth that bothers me. What’s behind it?

I can feel it. It’s brilliant, sharp, penetrating.

What is that? Hold still now.

There it is. Do you see?


I’m lost in the dark.

Where’s my list? What’s the priority? How do I accomplish that? I have plans, some divinely inspired, but can I complete it in time?

Time is short.

Happy? Healthy? Successful? Human.

A tangent. What was the mistake? Was there a mistake?

Reality. Reality? Wake up!

No, not the illusion. A loss of control. The key to awakening? A softening; a lightness. Less resistance. Less baggage to slow me down.

Surrender to it? Where is joy? Within.

My journey through the woods, full of beauty and richness.

But it’s dark. And I’m lost.

Intellectual Loneliness

There is currently a discussion going in one of the forums I’m a member of regarding this topic. Here is my opinion of the idea of intellectual loneliness:

This is a difficult topic. It can be frustrating to interact throughout your day with so many people that are simply on auto-pilot. They have no awareness, or desire for awareness, of anything other than the common topics they think they need to be able to discuss in order for them feel like they have purpose, i.e. popular TV shows, mainstream radio, and the books off of the best sellers lists. This is a topic discussed in our household on a regular basis.

I also find it interesting to note that most of the great philosophers, gurus, and magicians were typically single. Maybe a couple of failed marriages under their belts, but for the most part, alone. I think most intellectuals “think” their way right out of a relationship because, well… a relationship just isn’t always rational.

How does one overcome that? Should you? Do you think that being in a serious relationship with someone can hinder your ability to fully awaken as an individual since relationships are FULL of compromise?

I think the only way that a true individualist can maintain a serious relationship is to recognize that, just as they are an individual claiming rights to their individuality, so is their partner. It is not about confronting that other person in order to get them to…change their mind or conform. It is simply that you are two people, two individuals, that have decided to share your individuality on a daily basis. Congrats to those of you out there that have a serious relationship of this nature, for it is rare. And me… well… I worship the ground, and the water, that my individual counter-part walks on.

To take this back to the original line of discussion, I think you have to continue to seek out other intellectuals that are interested in sharing in the debate, not as a means to convert, but simply as a means for enlightenment, awakening, and continual quest for knowledge. You can usually tell within a very short amount of time whether or not the person you are interacting with is worth taking the discussion any further than the mundane, everyday ideas floated around. If that person isn’t of the caliber that you are looking for, stop trying to make them into it. Simply acknowledge them for who they are and walk away. Feeling the frustration over and over will not only enhance the frustration you are accumulating, but it will also waste too much of your precious energy on one not worth the expenditure.  That is not to say that the person themselves is not worthy; only that the frustration may not be worth the outcome.

“The Work” – A Poem

Beneath a surface you cannot see lies the Being inside of me.
Hovering near, you wander close.
Inching your way with much remorse
full of your own intention.

Convey to me something substantial, making it “real” and nonfinancial.
Discussing global, we indulge in strife.
For we become identified with the life
time, avoiding the vast abstention.

Breast and bone make one complete, or does that thought simply defeat?
Breaking down, you start to scream.
Your soul birthing from the dream
world, occupied by inattention.

Observe your Self, and you will find the hollowness of your mind.
Recognizing disconnect, you search for centers.
Your only hope, a group of dissenter
guides, engrossed in comprehension.

Soon you awaken to the dark and begin to understand your mark.
Struggling free, you coddle the Essence
Feeling whole, enriching coalescence
merged; you reach the next ascension.

And the next shock awaits you…

Life – An Illusion

Do you ever think that your life feels like you’re just acting in a play? Like the character you are playing and creating is not necessarily you, and you are just waiting for the play to end so that you can “really” live your life? But then, you realize that you’re so wrapped up in the play, the details, the script, the set, that you begin to lose your sense of self, of your true self?

The world as we perceive it is actually just an illusion. We are so wrapped up in playing our part that we fail to recognize that the struggles and conflicts which arise are not even real. We do not understand that the suffering we encounter is typically a voluntary act chosen to perpetuate the illusion of the play we are acting in, or improvising in. Why would one do this? Why would someone choose to create more suffering? I once had a close relative explain to me that if she didn’t have the drama in her life, she would be too bored. She would feel like her world has no meaning, and that she would go crazy. At the time, this made little sense to me. How can this be? I wondered about it, stewed about it, and even became a little angry because of it. Now, I have come to realize that her being conscious of this state of being was actually more of an enlightenment than most people had.

What role are you playing? What suffering are you choosing to continue so that you may fulfill the need for false personality? If you stopped playing the part, would you feel that your life has little to no meaning? Does the conflict you create provide you with a false sense of belonging? If so, why do you need it?

The answers to all of these questions are subjective. They will be based on the “reality” you have created and how aware of the role you are playing. Some suffering is beneficial. It creates a reflection of yourself so that you may evaluate your role and determine what part you would like to play next. This can lead to great changes in your demeanor, your actions, your choices, and motivations. Regardless of the seeming impact they make in the world around you, you must recognize that this reflection is not a mirror of your Self. It is a mirror of the false personality you have created for your character part. Re-evaluate it. Study it. Reflect on it. Then, release it. Those that do not will continue to rant about their unfair life and how nothing ever goes their way. Those that do will be lighter in this world. The stress will relieve, the anxiety will relieve, and the true Self will have the opportunity to sneak in a couple of lines in the play.

Negative Emotions in Relationships

Among people that know me, I am the one most of them turn to for advice and/or motivation.

Recently, one of my co-workers approached me regarding a personal issue she was having with her boyfriend.  While normally I am very open to the story behind the problem, with this particular acquaintance, previous encounters have lead me to believe that no amount of talking, listening, discussing, or debating will have any influence on the action she will choose to take in regards to the problem.  As usual, I listened intently as she relayed her problem and asked questions for clarification purposes.  I observed her becoming more and more agitated as she progressed on with her laundry list of complaints about the man she “loves.”  The more she talked, the more frustrated she became until finally I realized, her increased frustration was not because of the situation with her boyfriend, but because I was not responding to her in the manner she felt was warranted.  She had wanted me to react like the other women, with negative emotion to what she was saying, to jump on the band-wagon, so to speak.  When I didn’t, and she realized I wasn’t going to, she finally stopped talking and asked me what I thought.

I love it when this happens.  I always respond with, “Are you sure you want to know?”  They always say yes.

I said to her, “While I hear what you are telling me about the situation, please understand that I only know your point of view.  Because relationships are always a two-way street, I find it hard to believe that you are the only victim in the relationship.  I’m sure that you feel, as you stated, that he is a ‘fucking idiot’ sometimes.  However, you have chosen to remain in the relationship with this ‘fucking idiot.’  Being in a relationship requires you to accept your significant other, even when they do something you would consider completely stupid.”

She was not happy with my calm, rational response.  I continued…

“It has been my observation that you have complained frequently about your boyfriend in the past several weeks.  I wonder if you are aware of the negative energy you radiate when you discuss the situation.  I can’t imagine that when you began this relationship, you felt the same way you do now about him, but in a healthy relationship, your love is suppose to grow stronger, not weaker, as it progresses.  I don’t think this is the case for you.  If you cannot handle the responsibility of the relationship, and you are completely negative about the dynamic that has been created, then you would have to ask yourself if the relationship is worth it any longer.”

She stared at me like I was speaking in a different language.  The shock that I delivered to her emotional center paralyzed her thought process.  Just as I began to continue, knowing that I would have no impact on her, another co-worker approached us and said, “Did you say he (insert any stereo-typical complaint a wife might have about her husband here)”?  She turned her attention towards the new listener, and off they went in a flurry of complaints about the men they “adore.”  I had realized before I initially responded to her that anything I had to say would all fall on deaf ears.  She had no interest in listening to anything other than someone agreeing with her perspective of the situation.  Her ego blamed, complained, and tried to make others wrong in order to create a stronger sense of self. Ultimately, it is the ego that controls how most people view themselves and the world around them. Why is this?

Every one of us carries a build-up of negative sludge attached to us, gathered from negative past experiences.  When we encounter a situation that vibrates with the same painful emotion that resides within us, we respond with a negative expression of that emotion.  It is this identification that causes the recurring pain within the individual.  A man that had been neglected or abandoned by his mother at an early age will continue to have problems with the women he engages in relationships because that negative emotional response will trigger his energy to vibrate whenever he begins to get close to a woman.  A woman that had been physically or sexually abused by her father at a young age will continue to have problems with the men she engages in relationships because that negative emotional response will trigger her energy to vibrate whenever she begins to get close to a man.  Because the vibration is linked to the negative emotional response, the people that these two individuals will find themselves “attracted to” will be of the same nature that the mother or father was.  This vibration due to a negative emotional response will be misinterpreted as falling in love.  Unfortunately, it will continue on in this manner until that person recognizes the truth about what they are experiencing, understands where the pain is coming from, and can prevent the pain from renewing and re-energizing itself through them.

As Eckhart Tolle suggests, evolution is a breaking of old patterns within oneself and emerging with a new dimension of consciousness.  In the scenarios previously mentioned, these individuals must stop playing the unconscious role of the painful sludge.  Once they become aware of the negative state, they have succeeded in awakening within the moment.  Then, they can address the pain directly.  This will diminish the power it has on the individual and allow them to think more clearly about the emotion they are experiencing.  The energy they vibrate will take on a different frequency and in the future, help them to attract a different type of mate than they had in the past.  This is a step towards awareness.

For those already in a relationship, this can be even more difficult.  They have already established certain pains that feed each other’s negative emotions.  It may even be what attracted the two of them together.  Once one person begins to awaken to this pain and reduce the energy around it, it can create instability within the relationship.  “I feel like I don’t even know who he is any more,” or “She’s not the woman I fell in love with.”  In some cases, it may feel like the other person is pulling away from the relationship.  To a woman that is used to the argument every night when she comes home, the lack of the argument can be misinterpreted as him not caring any longer.  Or, “She didn’t yell at me when I left my socks on the floor this time.”  “He didn’t complain when I maxed out the credit card last week.”  Now, they begin feeling insecure because the other person they have come to know and love isn’t acting like “themselves.”  Some people will try to pull away emotionally as a response and begin looking towards other people that can feed their negative emotions.  Others will try to anger their significant other in an attempt to trigger the negative response that show just how much they care.  These are all more examples of how toxic negative emotions can be in a relationship.  Over an extended period of time, the accumulation of emotional sludge between them will create a tenacious co-dependency.  So, how do we overcome this?

If you, after increasing your sense of awareness of yourself and the individual you are in the relationship with, decide that it’s still worth going home to, then I would suggest you involve them in your evolutionary discovery and process.  Not all will be open to your awareness.  Some will become insecure, feel insignificant, and turn away from you.  If this is the case, you have to question the validity of the relationship in the first place.  Then, you can make an informed decision about whether this relationship is worth the continued effort and go with whatever that answer may be.

If you are in a relationship that your partner is open to the evolutionary process, then utilize it in all areas of your awakening.  Make a pact with your partner that each of you will let the other know whenever something is said or done to trigger a negative emotional response at the moment it occurs.  This requires you to observe yourself specifically when triggered by a negative emotion.  In doing so, you will both be given the opportunity to awaken fully to the moment and emotions at hand, and it will reduce the negative emotion between you.  Your combined frequencies will shift and the negative response will reduce creating less long-term, negative effects that contribute to the continued build up of sludge.  The residual effect on the relationship will only enhance and open the level of communication between you.  Each time that the announcement takes place of a negative emotion being triggered, the energy surrounding that emotional response will be lessened.  The arguments will lessen, not because one or both of you care less, but because the negative triggers will carry less power over your emotions.  As you both become more awakened, the need for the announcement will decrease and the instances of negative emotional responses will be limited to addressing the behavior or situation specifically.  In time, the expression of the negative emotional response will be nearly, ideally completely, eliminated.

This is evolution within two of your most intimate relationships, your relationship with your significant other and your relationship with yourself.  The co-worker mentioned at the beginning of this article will continue to fail in her relationships with others because her focus is on feeding the negative emotion that the two of them create rather than on the idea that it doesn’t have to be negative at all in order to be passionate and fulfilling.

Everything You Do Creates Change

Everything you do creates change.

The theory of cause and effect is the notion that allows us to transform everything about ourselves and influence the world around us, enabling us to become more of what we desire and expect. Our intentions, regardless of whether they are positive or negative, surge forever perceptible in the form of energy. That energy has the power to affect not only the world and individuals that most closely make up our reality, but also billions of others that we may never meet. The impact of our energy can be remarkable, and we must assume personal responsibility for the influences we are establishing for and upon other people. By recognizing the force of our energy, we possess the power to manipulate our reality in the present moment.

As we begin to manipulate the reality around us, we will start to see the shift of our focus narrowing down into creating real change. We will also increase the likelihood that people around us will be tapped into listening with the intent of shifting their truth as well. It is true that not everyone we encounter will awaken with us. We will engage in those conversations with the person standing next to us, and in most circumstances, they will not be able to comprehend what we are saying or that we may be in the process of observing ourselves in a state of awareness. However, it is imperative to man’s continued evolution that we provide those around us with tools they can use to realize their true potential. As Aristotle said, “All causes are beginnings…” We must learn to be “the cause” for others beginnings. Not all will choose to utilize the tools we provide. These individuals will remain ignorant to the state of sleep they rest at, experiencing only an on-going state of discontentment which they are unable to identify the source of. We are not responsible for their choice in awakening. However, the influence we exert is infinite.

Though we are diligent in our Work and our own personal evolution, employing the truth of cause and effect, we will never truly know how our actions and emotions will manifest themselves on the larger universal scale. It is likely that the furthest-reaching effects will fall outside our range of perception. There is not always a one-to-one relationship in cause and effect. It is important to stress that sometimes one cause may have several effects, or several causes may lead to one effect. But, it is only by remembering ourselves and looking to the guidance of our conscience and those more evolved than we are that will assist us in determining whether each and every one of our choices is contributing to our awakening or paving the way to unintended obstacles. As an awakened being that is motivated by a sincere desire to shift the paradigm for ourselves, and possibly those around us, we will be naturally drawn to those choices that assist in expressing our commitment to the universal awakening, regardless of how many others choose to follow us down this path.

Nothing you do, however seemingly inconsequential or mundane, is ever exempt from the rules of cause and effect. This leads me into the importance of personal responsibility. As stated by Chuck Gallozzi, “personal responsibility is nothing other than the freedom to create our own lives.” I recently conducted my own personal experiment with the individuals I work with, most of them being women. For many years, it’s been apparent to me that when dealing with women, in order to get them to listen to a suggestion, you must first get them to relate to the topic by establishing an emotional response. Whenever a change needs to be made, and our team is in “brain-storming” mode, in order for me to get the desired response from them, I always lead my sentences with “I feel like…” This will get them into the “feeling” mode, and it will make them more likely to relate to my feelings. When sitting at the table of managers (mostly men), I have to shift my ideas and present them with “I think that…” or “This is how it is when…” This lets them know that my suggestion isn’t a feminine, emotional response, and allows them to be more open to the idea.

Maybe it’s my feminist nature, but I have always been reluctant to approach the group of women using the “I feel…” method because I find it degrading to the feminist movement. I resorted to doing so in order to have the changes implemented in my favor which was, in itself, a manipulation of the situation for a desired result. However, recently, I’ve shifted my method of approach. I refrained from using the “I feel like…” slant within the team of women and began using “I think…” At first, the impact was nothing short of hostile. The initial body language of the women in the group took on a defensive form and more arguments arose before a final decision was made. Given that my boss is female, she even initially ceased supporting me during the discussions when before we were typically in agreement. After six full weeks of this experiment, it has only recently started to lessen in the effect it initially created. I have even noticed that two of the other women have started to use the “I think” approach when presenting their ideas.

The experiment listed above is a small example of cause and effect and the personal responsibility for creating a desired effect, but it is unknown at this time just how much of an impact this shift is going to have. I wonder if any of the women have started using the “I think…” approach with their husbands? And if any have, I wonder if it is a positive or negative effect? And though the shift is small, sometimes it is the diminutive, subtle changes that can lead to the relief of everyday stresses that weigh us down, allowing us the time and energy to devote to other areas of our lives. It is our own personal responsibility to eliminate the mindsets of “life isn’t fair” or “it’s not my fault I am the way I am,” and take charge of the energy we generate. Otherwise, we will have the same definition of responsibility as that of Ambrose Bierce (1842 ~ 1914): “RESPONSIBILITY, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.” This type of thinking only perpetuates the lulling slumber we should so desperately be trying to awaken from.

Focus your energy to create a desired effect that has the potential to shift the paradigms for all involved.

Everything you do creates change.

1. http://www.personal-development.com/chuck/responsibility.htm

2. From “The Devil’s Dictionary”

Our Need for Labels

“Hi.  My name is Bill.  I’m a 32-year old man, husband, father of two boys, former altar boy in the local Catholic church that plays baseball on my employer’s team and volunteers at Meals-on-Wheels.”  As you read through Bill’s introduction, think about all of the immediate assumptions you may have made about Bill.  Family man, Catholic, jock, concerned for the well-being of others…?   Did you think any of these thoughts?  Did you experience any emotional responses to his description of himself?

What if Bill then told us through the course of conversations to come that he’s on his third marriage, both of his boys have different mothers, he hasn’t been to church in ten years, he plays baseball because his boss “made” him, and the only reason he volunteers at Meals-on-Wheels is because it helps his 16-year old son’s scholarship opportunities?  How would your assumptions change?  Do you view his accomplishments differently?  What are your emotional reactions now?

It doesn’t matter what forum you enter, what meet-up you attend, what school you’re a student at, or where you work for a living, everywhere you go and interact with people, you eventually establish a list of identities, or credentials, that you present yourself as. We do this for two reasons, 1) to create a presentation, or sales pitch, of how we want other people to view us, and 2) to create a false sense of identity for ourselves.

There is a lady that I used to work with.  She is nothing short of trailer-trash.  When I use the label of trailer trash, do you immediately formulate a list of character traits just based off of that label?  She never went to college, but she didn’t want to be left out of the conversations.  Whenever the team I worked with began swapping college stories, she tried to fit into the conversation by sharing her high school experiences.  One day during these conversations, someone asked her where she went to college.  Rather than saying, “I didn’t go to college,” she began spouting her opinion about how a college education is over-rated.  Instead of taking responsibility of her choices and the emotional response she had to our conversations, she tried to label college graduates as over-achievers.  She was embarrassed about her lack of higher education.  This embarrassment about a previous choice is a good example of why we feel the need to identify with labels.

I grew up being dragged from one church to another while my mother searched for her spiritual identity.  Because of the varying experiences I had while in those churches, I recognize that when someone starts talking to me about what great things their church is doing for the community, I struggle with not having an immediate reaction of groaning at the presentation that this parishioner is providing me.  Rather than being open-minded to the idea that this person is concerned for the well-being of others and helping the community, I resist what they are saying, wondering how truthful it is and how much of what they are doing is just for the simple need to expand their numbers and influence through recruiting practices.  Because I struggle with this immediate reaction, I may limit myself from the people I may meet or opportunities that I may pass up because of my biased opinion of the Christian church practices as a whole.  This need for disassociation from a group is also a good example of why we feel the need to identify with labels.

The need for labeling ourselves is perpetuated by our current society.  We use labels as a quick way to gage the person we are interacting with so that we can make a snap decision on how much worth they may bring into our lives.  We almost always require it.  Go to meet a new group of people anywhere.  What happens first?  An introduction.  There is nothing necessarily wrong with the idea behind an introduction.  However, we use the introductory presentation to size people up based off of our own experiences, expectations, and stereo-types.  “Oh, he’s a Satanist, and I’m a Christian, so there is probably nothing positive or beneficial that this evil-doer could possibly bring into my life.”  “He’s straight, and I’m gay, so he’s going to kick my ass if he ever finds out.”  Do you see how this can limit us?  By doing so, we are limiting, not only the experience that others may be able to have with us, but also the opportunities that we create for ourselves.

As Ouspensky states in The Fourth Way, when you become identified you cannot observe.  By identifying with labels and pigeon-holing others and ourselves, we lose the capability to observe our Self and consider those around us openly.  The emotion we associate to the label has negated our opportunity to be present in the observation and the considering entirely.  Eliminating labels within our society is nearly impossible and truly unnecessary.  However, your ability to remain open when presented with other’s self-imposed labels is a feat worth accomplishing.  It is only through self observation that you will be able to recognize the negative emotional connotations you identify with in association to certain labels and start you on the path to eliminating those negative emotions entirely.