Category: Uncategorized


Where AM I? – A Poem


 

Grinding, kicking

Swimming in blue

Trying to find my way home to you.

Drowning

 

Grasping, keeping

Surrendering to sough

Wanting to find my way back to you.

Longing

 

Gouging, knocking

Scraping in cue

Needing to find my return to you.

Yearning

 

For with you, time stands still…

 

 


 

Asleep, as long as

you think you are not.

 

Forced, as long as

you think you are not.

 

Empty, as long as

you think you are not.

 

Distracted, for as long as

the choice is unseen.

 

Beaten , for as long as

the choice is unseen.

 

Forgotten, for as long as

the choice is unseen.

 

Wake, as fast as

you see the opportunity.

 

Show passion, as fast as

you see the opportunity.

 

Create, as fast as

you see the opportunity.

 

For your slumber is deep , but your rest is null.

For your impact is weak, and your legacy is null.

For your purpose is meek, and you sustainability is null…

 

…without love.

 

 

 

Love in Motion – A Poem


The feeling circles around in motion,

Swirling toward infinity, passing by the notion

That love forever sweeps us off our feet.

 

The feeling lingers around from start,

Dismissing nothing from a wounded heart

That love never tasted so sickingly sweet.

 

The feeling swishes around in waves,

Drowning out thought, until buried in graves

That love outlasts a worm’s treat.

 

The feeling…

Chasing…

That love…

 

Sweet infinity…

Where Am I? – A Poem


My heart beats, but I am lost
and I cannot find my home.
I search the lands far and wide,
but all I find is my tomb,
Inside…

Love Not Lost – A Poem


Dead leaves on the eve of fall,

wolves howl and the wind calls

of their forlorn love.

 

Separated by forgotten reasons,

both sit and watch the changing seasons

blurring around them.

 

Wishes granted, but none on time,

always stuck in a rhythm or a rhyme

of sorry, not yet.

 

Unsure of their love’s fate,

continuously forced to sit and wait

for answers that never seem to come.

 

Both unhappy, unfulfilled, aching,

for the only touch to mend their breaking

unstable, wanting hearts.

 

Someday soon, will answers arrive

so both no longer remain deprived

able to move forward

 

One step at a time…?


Just because I have to…

“Lovesong”

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am young again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I’m alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you

 

 


One of my favorite posts so far on one of my favorite blogs.

Love is…


…spending your entire day fantasizing about the smile you’ll bare at the first glimpse of him.


I sit here. I write it down. I journal it. I go back later and re-read it. I analyze it, study it, rethink it. This is my way around the emotions I avoid. This is my intellect trying to create rational distance from the emotion so that I can feel less afraid of the murkiness of my Self. It is dark there in the murkiness. There is much unprocessed emotional baggage weighing me down. I feel it swirling in my thoughts, guiding my heated arguments. Those shadows of previous anguish shift my perspective of Self and allow me to turn away from the observations I need to make. I can see it here. I can feel it.

I finally realize that it is a paradox. In order to know myself better and to become more fully aware of who I really am, I have to take a look at all of the feelings, emotions, behaviors, and beliefs that I’ve avoided looking at in the past. That is not to say that I need to delve into the buried emotions of previous heartache, for such a journey into the past is counterproductive and rarely worth our precious time to do so. However, it is to say that starting with the present moment, I must see within my Self all that I avoid as it manifests. I must deal with all creeping emotions that don’t seem to relate to the situation at hand, yet here they are. I must face the fear of that image, regardless of what form it comes to me in. Whether it is the childhood nightmare that resurfaces subconsciously or the disappointment of overhearing my “friend” degrade me when they think I’m not listening, the observation of my Self during these times is critical.

These are my missed opportunities. These instances of fear or rejection are my gates to walk through rather than my mountain to climb, or worse, turn my back on. These are the messengers that bring me just the needed information in order to understand my Self. These… these are the moments of truth in awakening.

As I’ve begun to do this, I realize that every time that I observe my Self in the moment of a negative manifestation, I feel lighter. I feel brighter. I feel more courageous to continue to look at my Self in the manner necessary to observe objectively and without judgment. The energy, my vibration, it shifts. I can sense the energy moving, allowing me to tap into the previously deprived guidance I shunned. My inspiration to continue grows.

There is still so much to learn.

Thanks for the Birthday Wishes


Just wanted to publish a quick “Thank You!” for all of the birthday wishes that I have received, and will receive, throughout the day today.

No big plans for me.  Most of my celebrating happened this past Sunday.   (Thanks, Jason!)   Today will just be a day of reflection and planning as I celebrate my own personal New Year’s Day.