After 12 hours: How trivial it all seems to be.

This morning on my way to pick up my daughter, I watched a woman hurrying, on foot in the rain. I wondered where she thought she had to go so badly that required her to take this drowning stroll down the street. What reality had she become enraptured and engrossed in that she felt obligated to make that journey and so early on a Sunday morning? Was it church? Was it her children? Was it the desire to fulfill her requirements with an employer in order for her to be able to “provide” for herself? Is there an emergency? Could it just be the rain pushing her along, but if so, why is she there to begin with?

I watched the colors of the lights. Red light. I’m programmed to have an internal alarm go off at the sight of this color. If driving, I should stop…wait. If looking at the man across the table, he’s in a “power color”, so I’m to feel a little inferior. Look at the color of the gas station sign. The price is in red. Is that because I should stop there for gas? Is that to gain my attention? Wait, what about my red light? Oh, yes, that’s why they are honking at me from behind. It’s green… I need to go now. If I don’t, the people in their cars behind me will become irritated, upset, possibly even irate… maybe even irate enough to come and scream at me through my window. What would be my reaction to them after my recent experiences? Would it be to quickly stomp on the gas pedal and speed off? Would it be to roll my window down and ask them why they feel the need to get so angry? Would it be to simply laugh at their programming, knowing that they know not what they truly are? Once again, I would see my programmed response to the color red, as I’m sure that is the color their skin would wear as they yelled.

I go; it’s a green light. Green… like the color of the trees. Is this nature’s color? What have I been programmed to believe about green? Is green supposed to make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, giving me permission to “go”? Green, the color we associate with money, greed, jealousy. She is green with envy. Why green? The trees are green; the grass is green. I see the beauty in the green so why have I let myself believe in the expression of green in any other way? No longer for me. For me, green is warm. Today, it is my conscious decision to say so. And as quickly as I declare it, I let it escape me and pass. For it, too, does not matter, and the declaration against is just as limiting as the declaration to conform. Red. Green. Stop. Go. As long as you are engrained enough to care, your programming still has you distracted enough to forget your Self. I forget my Self.

I continued driving. Why am I driving? Why do I feel the need to hurry so? Why do we not take the leisurely stroll as we used to? Our vehicles have aided in our advancement and our destruction all rolled into one. We can get farther, faster. We can experience more in a shorter amount of time. But with the speed that we are moving, what actually are we experiencing? What experiences and observations are we able to make that do not promote the evolution of our false personality? Too often, I skim the surface of the experience, giving me the capability of claiming the happening only. However, the true experience was more than likely lost along the pace. The exercise of moving my physical body is no longer associated with getting from one place to another. It’s allowed me to become less aware of my physical Self and perpetuated the increased rate of the “life” I’m living as I leave the quality of the experience behind, lost. Why do I do that? Why do I want to move so fast?